I am still in the hospital and not much has happened. Like expected, I got really bad sores in my mouth/throat and suffered a lot. Now, I have graft vs. host disease in the form of horrible nausea and problems with random parts of my body such as my eyes, teeth, and skin.
Something that I did not expect to experience is this crazy level of body dysphoria where my body is changing a lot and does not feel like my own. It’s a bit like being 14 except worse.
I know that I’ve been pretty MIA so if you are wondering how I am I am pretty bad. That said, everything is going according to plan which is everything I could really ask for. I am grateful.
This has been by far my hardest admission. Even though I’m not sicker, I feel much more displaced and anxious. I have been really bad about getting back to people (tbh I mainly sleep and play kim kardashian hollywood) but I do genuinely appreciate the support.