Okay so we all know appearance is important. For example, I really wanted to pick a chic black and grey theme for this wordpress but Saige said I can’t have a black cancer blog and I really saw her point so I went with light blue to calm us all down (aren’t you grateful?).
So anyway I got cancer and set out on this absurd mission to not be a Kid with Cancer. You know, like the ones you see on TV? Or the ones where you put quarters around their faces at stores? Oakland Children’s lets you wear your own clothes and stuff, so I lasted a few days doing that before I gave up because, let’s face it, hospital gowns are so comfy.
On my first day of chemo I had this awesome nurse (also named Brooke!) who ‘strongly suggested’ that I cut my hair short so that it is less traumatic as it falls out. As I would learn later, I think that also would have been easier to clean up. Well, I am on this mission to not be a Kid with Cancer, right? So I can’t do that. You probably know that I have always had long blond (blonde?) hair and it is (was) my baby/safety blanket/identity.
Well, this plan lasted a few weeks but it was actually pretty awful because there was hair EVERYWHERE. I could feel it on my legs when I slept because it would get all in my bed everywhere. Ugh. Also everyone had to clean up ridiculous amounts of hair from places you didn’t even think hair could get but no one had the heart to make me feel bad about it because of the whole leukemia thing.
Anyway, of course the inevitable end to this story is that I am now bald and I’m not happy about it. I freak myself out whenever I catch myself in the mirror and in the shower I get confused about where the face wash ends and the head wash (?) begins. Other questions – literally what are you supposed to wash your head with? Normal body wash? Feels weird.
I am leaving this picture here so you can all get used to my head being a nub before you see me for real and are alarmed. I am also cheating because I am taking this before I lose my eyebrows and eyelashes and look even scarier. But don’t worry, I am told my head is symmetrical and regardless I plan to come back just like post-2007 Britney except minus the tacky Vegas show.
Other things in my life: I have no appetite and I’m force fed chipotle and in n out while I lay in bed (life is rough), I’m not allowed to leave the immunocompromised unit but after having a cough for two weeks I am finally allowed out of my room so that’s big news, today I have 0% cancer cells in my blood (there is still cancer in my useless bone marrow), my paint by numbers is coming along slowly (I have no discipline), I love the bald children who are also trapped in this hallway (I would be way cuter bald if I was younger, I think I’m washed up), today is my three week anniversary of being in the hospital/only breathing filtered air.