I read a lot of cancer blogs. It’s kind of a sick habit of mine – to go through a story from beginning to end. It’s somewhat riveting, right? You probably agree since you’re reading mine. The ups and downs of treatment. For a long time I haven’t really been sure why I do this, because cancer certainly should not be treated like a source of entertainment, but as I lay here reading the story of a young boy who recently died of relapsed ALL I realized it. I’m reading them because I want to know that they died of something I don’t have.
When they die of graft vs. host disease or relapse it’s terrifying. That could be me. When it’s graft failure or infection or secondary cancer – well, those could be me too but it feels safer, more removed from my specific case. It makes me feel better.
The reason we need to fund childhood cancer research is so that treatment is not so traumatic that survivors find comfort in pain and so that death isn’t so common that a long life feels utterly unattainable.
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