Not Alive or Dead

This situation is difficult to contextualize. Compared to many cancer patients, I am somewhat lucky. I am alive. My cancer hasn't returned and it's been almost 2.5 years, which means it is unlikely to recur. On the other hand, compare me to the average 22 year old and it's tough. Compare me to most of... Continue Reading →

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Surviving (kinda)

To everyone who has contacted me over the past few weeks - thank you. I feel the love and support. I'm sorry that I haven't been able to get back to most of you. I just can't right now. I can't stop thinking about this last admission. I have an app from Stanford Healthcare that... Continue Reading →

Acute Renal Failure

I feel overwhelmed by the task of conveying this past week. On Saturday I was admitted to Stanford hospital for fever symptoms. I can’t actually get a fever because prednisone suppresses fevers and I’m on a very high dose, but I had chills and body aches, which was enough for any BMT doctor to want... Continue Reading →

My Stupid 22nd Birthday

Ok I turned 22 and the most annoying thing is having to answer people when they ask "What did you do for your birthday? Was it fun?" First of all, no, nothing is fun because my body hurts and itches like crazy 24/7. Pretty sure you could take me to a 5 star resort and... Continue Reading →

Scary, Rapid Decline

My symptoms in my eyes, mouth, hands, and feet have continued to improve and they are essentially gone. I have a bigger problem, though. I have developed sclerodermic gvhd, which is essentially skin tightening. My skin has become thick, immobile, and tight on almost my entire body. My chest and abdomen are the worst, to... Continue Reading →

Back to School

How weird, to be going back to school after watching a timeline full of graduations, trips, new jobs, and graduate school programs. I started last week, and it is bizarre. I watch the freshman in the quad or the older students going to campus events and think "was that really ever me?" I guess it... Continue Reading →

Hello. I went to beverly hills

TL;DR: I have been really sick and am hopefully getting better. I’m raising money for Stupid Cancer here. I have reached insanity in dealing with this GVHD. I got home August 12, after a summer during which I got progressively more sick until I ended up in a really scary place. I lost 20 lbs, had... Continue Reading →

Chronic Illness and Disappointment

This is something that I have debated sharing, because it's hard to share the hard stuff, but I've worked too hard to keep this site honest and transparent to give up now. I have been having a hard time coping. The way I got through treatment was by knowing that it would eventually end. The... Continue Reading →

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